This post is for all of the students going through the hell that is midterms. Stuck at school between classes with two hours to kill, an empty stomach, and no money, I was forced to eavesdrop on the people surrounding me. Turns out I was struck with some pretty golden quotes:
"Were you at that party this weekend?"
"The one at [insert fraternity name that sounds like baby-talk syllables strewn together]."
"Oh...I think so. [Giggling] I got so drunk."
"Oh, so did I! I didn't even see you!"
[Both girls laugh as if nothing funnier has ever been said on any topic in history.]
"I'm a graduate, actually. Yeah. I'm really only here because of some bogus requirement from my work. It's just a formality. But this teacher loves me so it's all good. [Grinning] She knows what's up."
"Wow, that's so cool."
"No, Mom, I forgot my lunch at home."
"I'm so tired today."
"Yeah. It's so weird because I actually got more sleep than usual, but for some reason I'm even more tired. I really don't know why."
"Are you talking to me?"
"Mom, I already told you! If you don't leave a note, I'm not going to remember it."
"Hey dude, the test in that other class was so hard."
"I know man, fuck that teacher. She's a bitch."
"Yeah. I think we have a test in this class like next week too."
"Yeah I think so." [Professor has been mentioning upcoming midterm since the first day of school]. "Wait no, I think it's the week after next week."
"I know this girl who wears two bras."
"What? Why would she wear two bras?"
"[Shrugs] To make her boobs look bigger I guess."
"Doesn't she know Victoria's Secret sells push-up bras that do that for you? Doesn't she know about the Bombshell?"
"I guess not."
"Maybe she can't afford Victoria's Secret."
"No, she can."
"Well I didn't have any other choice but to get McDonald's, did I Mom? I forgot. My Lunch. At home."
"What time is your next class?"
"Yeah, and I've been here since noon."
"I know...and I have work really early tomorrow."
"Yeah. It's cool though because I'm off the day after that."
Your taxpayer money at work.