Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Adolescent Embarrassment

When I was in high school, you couldn't have paid me to start a blog.
Don't get me wrong--writing has been a passion of mine since I knew how to physically bring a pencil to a sheet of paper.  I wrote short stories and read them in front of my third grade class.  I kept dozens upon dozens of notebooks in my room throughout my childhood, filling them with ideas for novels, chapter breakdowns, character analyzations.  I was born to be a writer.  However, try telling that to my fourteen-year-old self.
See, at that age, the strangest things embarrass you.  Me? I was embarrassed by my reading and writing comprehension skills, my big forehead, and a pimple I once had on the center of my forehead that was reminiscent of a bindi.  It's interesting how these same exact things are points of pride for me today.  Except the pimple.  It's since been popped, but I'm sure if it ever came back I'd be a little ashamed.
In honor of the strange things that embarrass us in the awkward, agonizing, ridiculous years we call adolescence, I've decided to compile a list we can all relate to that mortified us in front of our friends during this formative time.

1. The mere existence of parents.

Oh, isn't it mortifying?  Who else remembers being thirteen years old and begging your parents to drop you off around the corner?  Where I'm from, it was customary for kids to go to the city fairs and festivals on the weekends and walk around.  Luckily I was one of the badasses who showed up parent-free, having been dropped off six blocks away and ready to wreak havoc.  However, if you were one of the kids whose parents had the audacity to (gasp) enjoy the fair themselves, and maybe even bring siblings along with them?!  Oh, so lame.

2. Having any sort of stutter or speech impediment.

You are the object of ridicule.  In the adult world, if someone we meet stutters at all, we politely ignore it, treating them with graciousness and respect.  As a teenager?  You're likely given a hideous nickname and your face has by now permanently turned a shade of cherry tomato.

3. Having baby fat.

Nowadays it's all about being body-positive and having more to love, but when I was younger, I agonized over any trace of baby fat.  Of course, teenagers never take into account that it's a perfectly natural part of life and developing to still have a bit of softness to your body as you transition from child to adult.  I remember being twelve and forcing myself to go on crash diets where all I did was eat berries for like a week straight.  Very healthy, I know.

4. Getting good grades.

Or at least if you do, lie about it.  The dumber you are, the cooler you are when you're a young teenager.  Aim for a C average and thank God if you manage to drop even lower than that.

5. Wearing a bra.

Hilarious, but I remember being one of the first girls in my class to start wearing a bra back in the sixth grade.  I was so embarrassed and did anything I could to hide the fact that I was wearing one--I wore baggy shirts, I slouched, I tucked the straps into the bra.  Yet as we get older, we do everything we can to pretend we are wearing a bra when really, we're not.

The point of this article?  To laugh at how insane we all are as humans when we are going through puberty.  We're absolutely out of our minds, but at least we're all in this together in our own, ridiculous way.  Have some funny past embarrassments of your own?  Tell me about it!

XOXO,
Taylor

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