Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Comebacks of 2016

Now that we've seen Justin Bieber say sorry, Selena Gomez get over his ass, Aaron Carter go back on tour, and both M.I.A. and Frank Ocean put out words of new albums to be released in the fall, I think it's safe to say that 2016 is the year of the epic comebacks.  However, none of these are nearly as epic as the two comebacks I'm about to discuss.

Who else remembers this little badass?  JoJo came onto the scene in the early 2000's with pop singles that empowered young women while simultaneously making us want to shake it.  She was so edgy, evident here with her pink sweatshirt and denim miniskirt with a floral flare.  She also acted in Aquamarine, a teen film about two best friends who come across a mermaid (one of the most exciting things to happen to you if you were a thirteen-year-old girl).  

So then what happened?  JoJo disappeared off the face of the earth, that's what.  Gone but never forgotten.  But wait--all of our adolescent dreams have come true!  JoJo is BACK!

She's recently released hit single "Fuck Apologies" which features Wiz Khalifa and is impossible not to sing along to at the top of your lungs.  Along the vein of empowerment that she effortlessly conveyed as a teenage pop star, JoJo's new single is like the grownup version of what she's always been about--doing whatever the hell she wants and not caring what anyone has to say about it.

I know what you're thinking--I mentioned comebacks, as in the plural, right?  Well don't you fret, because I saved the best for last: It's Britney, bitch.

Oh yeah.  Brit is back in a big way.  She's just released her ninth studio album, Glory, and if you haven't listened to it yet...just what exactly are you doing with your life?  It's classic Brit: edgy, sexy, playful, with a hint of seriousness, contemplation; it asks the serious questions about life. Okay--no, it doesn't, but it's fun to listen to while shaking your hips and tousling your blonde wig.  She recently teased us with a performance at the VMAs, where she looked better than she ever has before.  I'm ready for more Britney!  Give me more Britney!  In fact, here is a call-to-action for my readers: if anyone has Britney Spears concert tickets, I would be happy to be your plus one.

Now, please enjoy some recent photos of the new (yet grounded in their roots) Brit and JoJo, looking amazing and not apologizing about it.


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Best of the VMAs

Hey there Brainiacs,

As we all know, Sunday was the night of the annual Video Music Awards.  I can't say this enough: I genuinely don't care about the outcome of the VMAs, or basically any award show in general.  However, I DO care what people are wearing!  But who doesn't?  Whether you're willing to admit it or not, everyone pays attention to the red carpet.  Even weird old men at the gym will be discussing Lady Gaga's meat outfit from back in the day for probably the rest of their lives.  So let's all delve into our guilty pleasure together and discuss some of the best looks from Sunday's event.

1. Naomi Campbell

This woman has been bringing it since the 90's and Sunday was certainly no exception.  Dressed in Brandon Maxwell, a favorite of Lady Gaga, the soft, shell-like dress and deep ruby lips are the perfect complement to her chocolate skin and midnight hair.  This look makes me forget that she's rumored to be one of the biggest divas in the fashion industry.

2. Kim Kardashian West

As much as it pains me to say it, Kim really brought it (please ignore the annoying statue dressed in white standing directly behind her).  She's draped in vintage John Galliano and I've never seen her wear a dress so well before.  Typically I'm never a fan of any of her outfits, but this was a standout for a good way.

3. Taylor Hill

And not just because she's my namesake!  Victoria's Secret model Taylor Hill definitely turned heads in this Moschino gown. (Not that I was there to see her turn heads, but I can presume just fine).  Always a fan of Taylor and rarely a fan of Moschino, but together this look is stunning.  It's not too over the top, and the clean hairstyle and dramatic eyes are a beautiful touch.

4. Halsey

Another amazing look from Halsey in a Yousef Al-Jasmi jumpsuit.  Dark hair and makeup on top paired with an icy outfit makes for a glamorous, rock-n-roll sort of look.  While extremely minimal, the jumpsuit's embellishments make it sophisticated and edgy.  And oh my, look closely!  Seems as though someone was informed that Sunday was National Free the Nipple Day!  I bet she didn't get kicked out of the VMAs for that.  You go.

5. Desiigner

Summer anthem "Panda"'s rapper in Maison Margiela--not much is ballsier than this.  However, he has the confidence and swagger to make this look work.  I respect the fact that Desiigner decided to forgo a button-down and instead chose to drape his neck in ice.  A man in blush suit with banana wingtips?  This works.

6. Chloe and Halle

Sisters wearing sisters (Chloe and Halle in Rodarte).  I love this look--it has a Spanish influence, mixed with the Gothic romance Rodarte is known for.  For these young women, I can't imagine a better choice.  

7. Hailey Baldwin

Looks like Halsey wasn't the only woman to opt for a sheer jumpsuit--here's VS's Hailey Baldwin sporting a Georges Chakra invention and completely slaying the look, the main differences being Baldwin's midnight lingerie visible underneath, her thin, black hoops, and her tousled blonde lob.  Light on the top and dark on the bottom: the opposite of Halsey, and yet still banging in its own way.

8. Alessia Cara

And way to be the most unfashionable woman at the ball!  No, I'm kidding.  Although Alessia's look is anything but conventional red carpet-wear, I kind of dig it.  After all, fashion isn't about designer names and price tags--sometimes we forget it's really about confidence.  It's about how the clothes make you feel; it's about how the clothes represent who you are on the inside.  While Cara didn't stun the crowd (again, I'm assuming about this whole crowd scenario), she wore what she was most comfortable in and she looks happy and confident doing so.  Props to you, Alessia.  

And there you have it!  The best looks of this year's VMAs, in my humblest opinion.  Agree?  Disagree?  What to add to/remove from the list?  Leave a comment, don't be shy!

Until Next Time,


Monday, August 29, 2016

Model Monday: Aya Jones

Her face is in the shape of a heart, making you think of love, nurture, and goodness every time your eyes glance in her direction.  She has the dark, plush lips that anyone, male, female, gay, straight, would be overcome with the urge to reach out and touch.  She's full of limbs yet strong; her skin is dark and warm, luminescent with a hint of burgundy present under the surface.  Are you in love?

Standing at 5 foot 10 with a sweetheart face and eyes that resemble something you're given as a free sample at See's Candies, French-born Aya Jones has the pleasure of being this week's Model Monday!

At the young age of 21 (what am I doing with my life?), Jones has walked all the biggest shows for the major players: Valentino, Chanel, and Dior, to name a few.  In addition to being a runway model, she is one of the faces of Prada.

She is constantly found in the pages of Vogue, Elle, i-D, and more, making her virtually impossible to miss if you're a follower of fashion.  Because of how mesmerizing her face is, most of her shots are close-ups, which makes her unique as a model.

Jones possesses the talent of bringing a sweet, vulnerable innocence to every look, whether it be sex, danger, prep, or eccentricity.  However, don't be fooled--she's an independent woman who has forged a path in the fashion world that would be nearly impossible to follow.

As always, have an amazing week and enjoy some photos of Aya Jones for your Monday!


Sunday, August 28, 2016


I'm homesick.
I'm sick.
I'm homesick for the sticky bodies pressing up against me in the subway--the bad breath getting in my face and the body odor conquering the space of the train.  I'm homesick for walking up and down thirty different flights of stairs a day.  I'm homesick for never hearing silence, never for a second being alone, and yet always being alone.  Always being at peace.
I'm homesick for young couples grasping onto each other for dear life, spread out on a blanket in Central Park gazing at the sky together and dreaming.  I'm homesick for hole-in-the-wall restaurants with immigrant waiters and their confusing accents bringing you heaping plates of food.  I'm homesick for coffee shops with thoughtful boys on laptops, for mom-and-pop stores with that joint cream you'll never find anywhere else, for dirty pavement littered with expired Metro Cards, for thunder and lightning in the middle of July.
I'm sick of the suburbs.  I'm sick of barbecues and football games.  I'm sick of minivans and soccer teams.  I'm sick of traffic lights.  I'm sick of chain restaurants, department stores, sprinkler systems, parking spots.
Maybe some people can live like this, and that's fan-fucking-tastic, but I sure can't.  I don't want a dog and a mortgage and a Costco membership and a "Home Sweet Home" doormat.  I don't want a husband and a little boy and girl and an office job and a carpool.  I don't want a gardener, an elementary school in a good area, a parent-teacher conference, a Crockpot schedule.
I want homeless men to scream at me on the subway platform, begging for my spare change.  I want to have to transfer to three different trains because there's construction and everything's been rerouted.  I want to scowl at tourists and flirt with the guards at Tiffany's and eat dinner with a plastic fork.  I want to get caught in the rain on my way home with no umbrella and ten blocks to go.  I want to smell garbage rotting on the side of the street and get hot air from the sewers blown between my legs.  I want madness, insanity, 24/7 what the hell is going to happen next where even am I what am I doing with my life I love this I love everything NEW YORK!  I want to go home.
I'm sick, and I'm homesick.

Written by a girl who used to look at this exact photo and think, How the hell am I ever going to get there?

Friday, August 26, 2016

Millennial Memories

Happy Friday Brainiacs!

This morning's post is dedicated to the stuff of our childhood that will forever be apart of our cultural conscience as millennials.  Not a millennial?  Trust me, you'll still remember at least part of this list.

1. Lizzie McGuire: Where the Better Hillary Got Her Start

To this day, Lizzie McGuire is still a big part of my life.  I'm not ashamed to admit that every time I hear the name Hillary (which is about every other minute), I automatically think of Duff rather than Clinton.  Incidentally, I can't watch the rhythmic gymnastics competition in the Olympics without thinking of that one episode where Lizzie and Kate join the team, nor can I hear a Hispanic say gordo without thinking of Lizzie's longtime admirer.  Even when I wonder if I can get away with wearing the same dress one week after the next, Kate's words echo in my mind, "Lizzie McGuire is an outfit repeater!"

2. Even Stevens

Sure, Shia LaBeouf does some crazy shit now and no one really knows what's going on with the dude, but in my mind he'll always be the adorable little weirdo laughing at fart jokes with his friends and getting into it with Ren and Beans.  What a strange child Beans was.  Also, Ren taught me how to spell words and I can never repay her for it because where the hell is Christy Carlson Romano now?

3. Zoey 101

What a show.  I remember begging my mom to get a copy of a random key, any key, so that I could paint it like Zoey's and tie it around my neck.  Admit it, you did it too.  We also all wanted Chase and Zoey to get together and secretly had crushes on Logan that we'd never admit because he was such a little prick.  
Then, the appearances of Quinn and Lola, who both taught us in their own unique ways that it's okay to be yourself--true friends will still accept you.  Aww, thanks Nickelodeon.

4. Aaron Carter

Ugh, and who can forget this little babe?  Aaron Carter was the Justin Bieber of our generation (without the drunk-driving and least as far as we know).  And when Aaron guest-starred on Lizzie McGuire and they sort of fell for each other?  I think I fainted out of satisfaction.

5. Britney Spears: Our Queen

Last but CERTAINLY not least, who can forget the reigning queen of our time?  Jamie-Lynn was cute on her show and everything, but no Spears could do it quite like Brit.  Who else is a die-hard fan who stuck by her side through it all, bald/umbrella phase included?  As young girls we cut our hair like her, dressed like her, watched all of her videos and danced along obsessively.  Britney Spears was like a god to me...and maybe sort of always will be.  Hey, I've got no shame.

Does seeing these memories spark something in you?  Any leftover resentment towards Chase for never confessing his love to Zoey?  Residual anger towards Aaron for taking such a long break from the spotlight?  Or better yet, do you have more memories to share?  I certainly left out quite a few.  Leave a comment with your thoughts!  In the meantime, here's more pictures of Britney to brighten up your day.